I cried.

I know I have failed on my New Year's resolution, but that's part of the point, right? Nobody actually keeps these things. To make up for it, I'll put a more personal post out there today (gasp!)

My boyfriend and I have been quite busily planning our future since he is Indian, I am American, and I am returning to the U.S. on the last day of March. We've had to really think about what we want and have had many discussions about how we're going to make our relationship work and the next steps we want to take. After many many talks we've decided to get engaged before I leave India in a traditional Hindu ceremony. We'll get married when he decides to come to the U.S. in a year or so (the exact date will be determined based on job prospects, school breaks, etc.) After we're married, we'll start planning 2 weddings: a traditional Hindu ceremony and a modern Unitarian ceremony. Because he is a bit of a traditionalist, we decided to have two ceremonies rather than merging the two traditions into one.

We were both happy with this solution, but I have not come to terms with the idea of having a 15 hour Sanskrit ceremony where I don't understand what's going on. It's very important to me that I am conscious and knowing about what I'm doing on my wedding day (even if it is just 1 of 3). Today, while we were walking back from talking to a Priest about the engagement ceremony, I brought it up again. I told him I don't want to do a Hindu ceremony unless we have a translator of some sort. He insisted that it was impossible to find a bilingual priest and that there can only be 3 people on the altar, so a translator was impossible. We fought about it the whole way home and I got increasingly angry that he wasn't willing to compromise and that we couldn't come up with a solution. Then he dropped the bomb "I know Sanskrit and wanted to translate the entire ceremony for you as a surprise on our wedding day." I wanted to punch him in the face and give him a huge kiss at the same time, so naturally, I just cried.

Such a lovely romantic notion: my husband translating an ancient text about love alound to me while we went through rituals that have been performed for thousands of years. I was floored. I had so misread the situation: I thought he had no concern for my feelings on the day when he was doing everything he could to make me elated that day. And yet I was so mad! We could've avoided all these arguments and all my stress about it if he'd just told me. AGH!

Since my tears have dried and I've stopped blowing my nose, I am now just happy. Happy to have someone who cares so much that he'll do anything to surprise me with joy, happy to know how wonderful our wedding day(s) will be, and happy to have finally busted the secret!